I sat on the
edge of my bed trying to find the strength to take on another day. Simply
trying to stay afloat and not drown in my own pool of tears.
There is no
denying that I am an emotional creature, but the past few weeks my life has
been turned upside down. From different challenges at work to healing
from a breakup, all while dealing with family matters that I've
avoided for years.
See, I had declared
that 29 was the year I was going to “get my life together”… whatever that
meant. I was mentally preparing to sincerely work on becoming the best version
of me, all before I hit the big three-0. Little did I know that
literally days before my 29th birthday
I would get a Facebook message from an excited eleven-year old that simply
wanted to meet her big sister. All of a sudden I wasn’t an only child anymore. More importantly, I was no longer able to avoid the multitude of emotions that came with dealing with my father and
that part of my life.
This all
unavailing while I try to put the pieces of my life together and move on from
my last relationship. After sharing every part of me with someone for three
years, starting over has not been easy. I’ve learned what it is to truly love someone
wholeheartedly, but not be in love with them. Timing is everything in life and
time was not on our side. It took both of us too long to see my worth.
Nevertheless,
as I sat on the edge of my bed today holding back the tears. Thinking how I was going to put my feelings in a box and get to work. I glanced at
my vision board and couldn't help, but read the quote by Elizabeth Edwards over
and over again. “She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she
adjusted her sails.”
I feel like I am standing in the middle of the storm with winds blowing in each and every direction. All I could do is adjust my sail and hope that this storm leads me to exactly where I need to be.
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