Adjusting My Sail...

I sat on the edge of my bed trying to find the strength to take on another day. Simply trying to stay afloat and not drown in my own pool of tears.

There is no denying that I am an emotional creature, but the past few weeks my life has been turned upside down.  From different challenges at work to healing from a breakup, all while dealing with family matters that I've avoided for years.

See, I had declared that 29 was the year I was going to “get my life together”… whatever that meant. I was mentally preparing to sincerely work on becoming the best version of me, all before I hit the big three-0. Little did I know that literally days before my 29^th birthday I would get a Facebook message from an excited eleven-year old that simply wanted to meet her big sister.  All of a sudden I wasn’t an only child anymore. More importantly, I was no longer able to avoid the multitude of emotions that came with dealing with my father and that part of my life.

This all unavailing while I try to put the pieces of my life together and move on from my last relationship. After sharing every part of me with someone for three years, starting over has not been easy. I’ve learned what it is to truly love someone wholeheartedly, but not be in love with them. Timing is everything in life and time was not on our side. It took both of us too long to see my worth.

Nevertheless, as I sat on the edge of my bed today holding back the tears. Thinking how I was going to put my feelings in a box and get to work.  I glanced at my vision board and couldn't help, but read the quote by Elizabeth Edwards over and over again.  “She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails.”

I feel like I am standing in the middle of the storm with winds blowing in each and every direction.  All I could do is adjust my sail and hope that this storm leads me to exactly where I need to be.